When you’re learning a new language, you’re not going to be perfect. The problem is, not being perfect and making a ton of mistakes is terrifying. So what do you do when you’re so terrified of making mistakes that you can’t learn a language at all? Don’t be afraid to make mistakes in language learning – let’s talk about how.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
Now, if you want to make mistakes in language learning so that you can stop making mistakes eventually, the first thing that you need to do is something that a lot of people get wrong, and that is you need to understand why you’re so afraid of making mistakes.
Step 1: understand why you’re afraid to make mistakes
So many people will say, “Just do it! Just stop being afraid.” That’s exactly like telling somebody who’s allergic to chocolate to just not be allergic. It doesn’t work that way. First, you need to understand what is causing this fear. This is a common fear, especially because most of us have been taught that when we make mistakes, it is a bad thing and we’re probably going to get criticized or judged or in trouble or any number of things. But basically, mistakes are a negative thing.
Those of us language learners with a more perfectionist mindset need to work hard on not being perfect and learn that it’s okay to not be perfect. And the only way to do that is to understand why you think you need to be perfect. And this can take some time to figure out.
So if you have no idea why you can’t be perfect or why you’re so afraid of making mistakes, it’s okay. Just take a second. You’ve got plenty of time to process this on your own.
Now, personally, when I used to be more afraid of making mistakes when learning a foreign language, it was because of a lifetime of being criticized about everything that I did wrong. That fear was paralyzing, so I wasn’t able to take any risks in my language learning, because I thought – my brain was trained – to avoid making mistakes at all costs. So as soon as I made a mistake, I punished myself. And punishing myself meant that I had to stop learning the language.
So that said, the first step is to understand what is holding you back. Why are you so afraid of making a mistake?
Step 2: mistakes are a positive
Once you understand what is holding you back personally from being comfortable with your mistakes, the next step is to learn to see mistakes as a good thing.
Now, you can’t skip the first step because even if you learn the second step and you learn to see mistakes as a good thing, it’s like a bandage on an open wound. You need to get the stitches first before you put the Band-Aid on it. You need to figure out why you’re so afraid of making mistakes before you learn to see your mistakes as a good thing.
It’s honestly, really a shame that we are taught that mistakes are a bad thing because in actuality, mistakes are a sign that we’re trying something new, that we’re learning new things. Mistakes mean that we are putting an effort towards building a new skill because before you can be good at anything, you have to be bad at it first.
You’ve gotta be bad at it, then you have to be kind of okay at it, and then you’ll be good at it. But you don’t go from absolutely zero to being fantastic at it. There are a lot of steps in between and you have to be able to go through those steps and make all those mistakes.
Step 3: make mistakes on purpose
While I don’t consider his ideas to be perfect for everybody, Benny Lewis from Fluent in 3 Months does get this part right where he intentionally makes as many mistakes as possible. And that is why intentionally making mistakes is the next step on the way to confidently making mistakes in language learning.
Because right now, if you are afraid of making mistakes, basically when you’re approaching language learning, you are trying to do everything but make mistakes. But mistakes are going to happen eventually because you have to learn the language to conquer it.
So many of us have been taught to see learning a new skill as success, success, success, success, success. And if there’s any failure in there, it’s like success, failure. And then you’re like back to square one and then you have to start all over. In reality, the failure is what allows you to succeed. The mistakes that you make in language learning are the best lessons you can find.
This is why when I talk about using group lessons to practice your speaking skills, one of the pros of that experience is being able to learn from other people’s mistakes as well as your own. Mistakes are the highest quality lesson you could learn. Because mistakes, again, mean that you’re trying.
I want you to think about it next time you are practicing your target language and you have that little moment where you’re not sure what to say or what to do or what to think, and you have this idea of what the word might be or what the sentence might be or whatever it is. But on the other side, you also have that voice in your brain that says, “But you don’t know for sure, so you should probably not say anything at all, just in case you’re wrong.”
Next time you’re in that situation, I want you to try the thing that you think might be the right answer, but you’re not entirely sure. Because what happens is either you’re right and you feel fantastic about it, and your confidence is just going to explode, or you’re going to be wrong and you’re going to learn more, you’ll learn better, and it’ll be a much more effective lesson to you than any bland lesson that any language teacher can ever teach you. That tiny little bit of risk that you can take will build up your confidence and show you that you can make mistakes and you can take those risks and they’re fine.
That’s the only way to learn a language is to make a ton of mistakes. Once you learn how to make mistakes in your language learning and you practice putting yourself in that vulnerable position and allowing yourself to maybe be wrong sometimes and maybe sound like an idiot sometimes, that is when you will finally succeed in your language learning. That’s when you’ll finally get more confident, and that’s when you will finally learn the language.
Because I know that avoiding mistakes feels safer and feels risk-averse and feels like the smarter option. But protecting yourself from making mistakes and learning to speak a language are not compatible forces.
It’s up to you to decide if you’re willing to accept that risk and allow yourself to maybe be embarrassed and maybe be wrong to eventually learn a language and be able to use it confidently regardless of whatever mistakes you’re going to make because mistakes are inevitable, fun fact!
No matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you protect yourself, if you are learning a language, you’re going to make mistakes. So the quicker you get confident and learn how to make mistakes successfully, the faster you’ll learn a language.
So if this video resonates with you a lot, I highly recommend you check out Mastering Mistakes. It’s one of my mini-courses that includes a more in-depth explanation as to why mistakes are so hard for us and also includes a notion template to help you brainstorm all of the things that I mentioned in this video from understanding why you’re so afraid of making mistakes and how to fix it and how to stop the cycle that you’re in, that is stopping you from learning a language.
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